Now wait one damn out of control rodeo clown minute there Frisky, you're having an art sale? You bet your robotic vacuum cleaner Grandma I am!
After chatting to some random blowfly at Ed's Drink N Moan down the road, it turns out that some art can be worth a few dollerydoos (and not just something to shit your neighbors with) and after cleaning up the mess warehouse, I've uncovered a few pieces that for the right offer could be taking pride of place in your living/partner swapping room!
First up we have this masterpiece:
BEHOLD THE FURRY BIRD! - ARTIST UNKNOWN
Wowee, does this scream classy or what? And after taking it down to Fred's Cut Price Vet services and Barber around the corner, I can confirm that it truly has been bolted together with nothing but high quality cat fur! Yes many a moggie shedding has been lovingly woven into this beautiful piece and really makes this Ugandan Tawny Frogmouth eating a baby boa constrictor really come to life!
This ultimate icebreaker will be the talk of any shindig you care to throw at it and for the low price of a mere $3000, could be flapping its way to your place!
Not to your taste though? Fair enough, how about we tempt you with this!
PALE AND MOODY POSSE PLAN THEIR NEXT FEED AT MCDONALDS - ARTIST UNKNOWN
Hunger as you know can make strange things happen as this piece explains. It can make your skin go paler than crack. It can blow up your hair to the point where it scores it's own post code. It can make you blur out of existence slightly like the bird on the left.
Luckily the Pale and Moody posse realize this and have been captured mid thought about what to order. Should they go for some tasty McNuggets this time? What about an upsized combo? Will they stick around for a thick shake or take an extra cheeseburger to go?
So many questions - makes you think doesn't it?
$2500 and this captured conundrum can be yours! (God I'm hungry now!)
And finally we present the ultimate piece in our collection!:
NO DRAMA LLAMA! - DRAMALESS LLAMA ORIGINAL
An original No Drama Llama? That's like opening up a treasure chest full of Are You Being Served DVDs with a signed photo of Captain Peacock - mind blowing! But here is one, on offer and reluctantly at that. Put it on display or even better, in a safe somewhere and watch it appreciate dramatically.
I mean how how good would it be to have the No Drama Llama fund your retirement? Or buy you another second hand furniture business! I'd be doing that, if I didn't have a semi decent Sportsbet tab to pay off (that's the last time I bet on Leon Draisaitl to beat the Karim Benzema in competitive shuttlecock!)
My stupid bets could be your game - a firm $10,0000 and it's yours. No you can't bargain me down, it's a bargain already and I know what I have!
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