Phwoar to the floor! (Squares)

Usually in the high quality second hand furniture market it's hard to gauge the exact history of any piece but not in this case - this one came with a note!

Okay because they'd left the box of these things outside the store on a Friday night and it rained like biblical proportions right across the weekend, the note was just a tad damp when I got it.
However Burpo the work experience kid is a dab hand at translations and worked out most of it soon enough: 

Dear Frank Frisky,

I am a big fan of your store and thought you might enjoy this piece to put in as part of your shop display. This was the portable floor sections for the East Colac Sumo Mud and Honey Wrestling Community that meets on Thursday night.

Basically we get together to slather mud and honey all over ILLEGIBLE WORDS before we all yell war cries and crash into each other's ILLEGIBLE WORDS while someone films it all for our website www.slathermeuILLEGIBLE WORDS

Anyway the council has decided that we've been making too much noise and they've issued us with a shut down notice. Not to worry though, we'll be back slapping ILLEGIBLE WORDS every Thursday and ILLEGIBLE WORDS against our ILLEGIBLE WORDS with a carrot. 

Until that happens, we hope you enjoy these foam carpet squares. Maybe you'd like to smear ILLEGIBLE WORDS ILLEGIBLE WORDS ?

Much love

-Sumo Slim Slam

Right, so there's the providence - how about a price? Er...bring me a steak sandwich?  Yeah it's Monday and I'm not fussy. One steak sandwich and you can use these things for whatever slaps your fancy on a Thursday night..

BYO hose.